|
so sleep alone tonight
Hello there, I'm a 14-year-old male student and web designer who resides in super sunny Singapore.I like tissue paper but I'm not a fan of sausages. I walk around Orchard Road every weekend in my snowman costume. I've figured that I already lost my sanity a long time ago. And so, blah blah blah. It goes on. Your profile here. I hope you have something to write. Do take note of the height constraint of this section! |
|
|
about this blog
This blog was opened by (your name here) to accomodate (your name here)'s mindless musings and daily rantings.Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours! tagboard
Your tagboard here, preferably a skinny one with a width of not more than 138px.
affiliates
friend
friend
friend
friend
archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
hey. checking my 57 emails now. and I'm posting some interesting ones too :D enjoy. Baked Beans. If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will. Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her and has to let go a huge gust of gas. One day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, 'He is such a sweet and gentleman, he would never go for this carrying on.' She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way home, she passed a small diner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,' Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.' He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch theblindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the airaround her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with hernapkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if she peeked and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold and she almost died ofembarrassment. Seated in front of her were twelve dinner guests invited by her husband to the dinner. Each of them was turning blue from holding their breath. |